Head Poop

Woohoo! We’re number 1!!!!!

thejeeves — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:27:59 +0000

Blip.tv shows awesome web series’. They’ve been doing so since 2005. Over 22 million people watch shows on blip instead of sending off their TPS reports per month and if you were to log on to their site right now, you would see that episode 5 of my web series, Waxing Platonic is in the NUMBER ONE position on the front page and is recommended by these pioneering tastemakers as a staff pick!

What’s Waxing Platonic, you ask? I’m not one for hyperbole, but it’s the awesomest web series ever to tattoo your seeing holes. It asks the question, “What if the ‘girl next door’ actually lives next door?” and it stars this group of insanely talented and good-looking people:

Check out the site here

Check out the Facebook page here

Join us on Twitter here

And be sure to check back to the blog for when I post more info about cast, characters, and the show! Remember earlier when I said I’d post daily? Ha! Those were good times.

Sylvester, how I’ve missed you.

thejeeves — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:11:51 +0000

Here is the worst trailer for what is going to be the greatest movie of all time. Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, special appearance by the Governator, I’m sure the Predator and RoboCop have cameos. I think KITT is their getaway car, and in the final battle Skeletor gets run over by the General Lee while Optimus Prime plays a killer guitar solo. In all seriousness, if there were Oscars for Best Jason Statham performace, Best One-Liners before massive explosions, and Most Bullets Used to Kill One Person, this movie would win at least two of those. I. Can’t. Wait.

The trailer isn’t available to be viewed readily in the States due to Copyright laws, according to YouTube. But on a completely unrelated note, check out this link on how to make a delicious apple cobbler. WATCH how carefully THE crust is laid in a crossing pattern on the baking dish. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can add a nice whip cream TRAILER. Just click HERE:

This movie looks like it might beat the last 45 minutes of the last Rambo movie (where there is no dialogue and Rambo stabs people in the head, snaps their necks, SHOOTS THEM WITH EXPLODING BULLETS, then proceeds to get behind a large, mounted automatic machine gun and fire at anything moving for a good half hour. Both in regular and slow motion).

Remember when you were a kid and you would set up elaborate storylines with your GI Joes, Transformers, He-Man, Star Wars, and MASK figurines? Waging epic, cross-toy-line battles to either save or avenge the gruesome firecracker death of your sister’s Barbies? This is the movie equivalent of that.

Come Closer Together

thejeeves — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:56:22 +0000

Ok, so by now I’m sure that you’ve heard the Green Day-Oasis mashup of Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Wonderwall, aptly titled Wonderwall of Broken Songs. While a bunch of stations and places played different versions, the credit for the most prevalent mashup goes to a DJ Party Ben (who is in a heated battle for worst DJ name with DJ Rape Face and DJ Anal Leakage). If you haven’t heard it, here it is:

Pretty cool, right? There’s actually a little bit of Travis and Aerosmith thrown in there for garnish. Overall it’s pretty damn catchy. It’s two great tastes that taste great together, like Pop Rocks and Coke, or Tapatio sauce and ranch dressing (trust me, put it on anything, it will taste awesome). A quick glance over to the related videos column yielded a ton of other mashups. Now, I hate doing work. Hate, hate, hate it. Ninety percent of the awful reality TV and obscure movies that I watch is because I’m trying not to do work. But if it’s something topically random and then categorically specific, such as this, then I will research it FOR HOURS.

So here you go. There was a ton of crap, and by “ton of crap” I’m not talking about the amount of mashups, I’m saying that a majority of those mashups exhibited qualities that were strikingly poo-like. Here are the gems:

Jay-Z goes well with everything. This mashup makes me want to dance in an open field and then smack a bitch.

“Where do these stairs go?” “They go up, Ray. They go up. Shamon.”

Ha, actually just found this one. Here’s a two-fer.

Apparently, there is a subcategory within these mashups that is purely devoted to The Beatles. These three are by far the best.

(This was also by DJ Party Ben. Such good mashups, such a bad name.)

Ha, The Beastles. They’re the ligers of the mashup world.

This one is just awesome, the best of the bunch, goes together almost too well. This was done by a DJ Zebra, a better name than Party Ben’s but that couldn’t have been that hard. You can probably look around your room right now and come up with better DJ names. Hey look, there’s DJ Notebook. This just out from DJ Dry Erase Board. DJ Rainbow Brite Do…..er, okay, that’s enough for this post.

Well Hello There!

thejeeves — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 18:53:15 +0000

Hi there! Welcome to my blog! Lets assume that you know how these things work. Lets also assume that you know that I know you know. Lets not assume that anyone else does though because if they did, they’d be reading this right now and would probably be you, and not them.

I’ve been wanting to start one of these for a while now because, well, I’m a narcisisst, but I can acknowledge that. It’s one of the reasons I’m so perfect.

So, let’s see, what can you expect here? There will probably be a little bit of everything, the only limit is how lazy I get. I would say that I’m constantly underestimating my laziness, but determining the actual initial estimation of my laziness took way too much work, so I watched Spaceballs instead. My ability to procrastinate amazes me though. I actually procrastinate procrastinating now (I should be writing, but first I’m going to watch some TV. Before I watch TV though, I think I’m going to make a Hot Pocket take a nap.) All right, on to the bullet points of things to expect:

I’m currently writing and directing a web series I created called Waxing Platonic. I’m not one for hyperbole but it’s the awesomest web series in the history of the Internet. We’re just about to launch and I’ll be blogging about the episodes, the shoots, how incredible the cast and crew are, stories from the set, updates, extra stuff about the episodes, lets just say, I’ll be writing a whole mess of stuff about it. Right now, before launch, you can become a fan and follow the series on Facebook and Twitter
Musings on everything from current events and pop culture to things I may have seen or going on in my day.
I’ve seen a lot of Internet, and there’s crazy stuff, and I’ll definitely put them in lists here.
Daily posts!
A number of those daily posts being “Sorry! Busy/Lazy/Overthrowing Alien Menace. No post today but a new something tomorrow! Promise!”
That post being up for at least three days.
Digital chocolate chip cookies!
Obscure (and popular) movie, music, TV show trivia. I guarantee that if you read this blog long enough, you will never lose at Cranium again.
And of course, everything else.

So, if you’ve gotten to here, thanks for reading! Sit back, relax, and enjoy Head Poop! Yes, I’m 12. The words “poop,” “fart,” and “boobs” or any combination thereof will always be funny, so get over it Boobfart.